Vegeta the Hobo. Part 2
by Lady Kav and Sandy Winner
Summary: Part II. Vegeta roams around looking for food. He visits all the earthlings and nameks he knows including his archnemisis. He's in for quite a few shocks


Part 2: No Need for Bulma and Her Blasted Brats!  
  
She was in her apron, humming "Zenkai Power," cooking rice for her always hungry husband and son. Suddenly she heard a loud knocking at the door. She wondered who it could be. She yelled, "Hold on! There's no need to break down the door! I'm coming!" She opened the door and to her surprise it was........  
  
That nasty Saiya-jin who hung around Capsule Corp. "Oh it's you, Mr.......er....Bulma's husband. Are you here to spar with Goku?" Vegeta just clenched his fists and growled. She wondered what that ill-tempered, violent man wanted. She couldn't believe that Bulma had been foolish enough to fall for him. She had heard all sorts of rumors that Vegeta had eaten his first son Mirai Trunks, which is why he wasn't around after the Cell Saga. Chi-Chi really did not like the fact that Pan and Goten spent so much time with those dysfunctional Brief Brats. She hoped that the Sons would never marry the Briefs. She continued, "Goku and Goten are counting Senzu Beans in the kitchen."  
  
Vegeta scowled as he walked into the kitchen. The only reason he had come to his arch-nemesis' house was because he was hungry and he had learnt from Trunks that Kakarotto's onna's cooking was edible unlike Bulma's. Anyway even though he had beaten and tried to kill Kakarotto several times, Kakarotto was so dumb and foolish that he believed Vegeta was his best friend.   
  
"Eight Senzu Beans, nine Senzu Beans, ten Senzu Beans, seventeen Senzu Beans."  
  
"Daaaaaddd! Seventeen is not the next number after ten. It's eleventy."  
  
Chi-Chi sighed at the stupidity of her son and husband. At least Gohan was smart. Goten and Goku looked up to see who had come. "Oh my Dende! Unckie Vegeta's here," yelled Goten.   
  
"Wow! It's Unckie Vegeta!" Goku ran over to him and gave him a big hug. "I can't believe it's actually you Vegeta. I'm so glad you finally came to visit me in my house after all these years."   
  
Vegeta pushed Kakarotto off from him. He really hated being called Unckie Vegeta. Goten had started this when he was a little boy and now everyone called him Unckie Vegeta. How could he, the Prince of Saiya-jins, be the uncle of the spawn of a third-class Saiya-jin scum.   
  
"So why are you here Vegeta?"  
  
"I should ask you the same question Kakarotto? I thought you were with Shenlon," Vegeta sneered.  
  
"Well, you see Shenlon told me he was going to take me to the place I would be happiest and where my talents would put to good use. The next thing I knew I was at Satan City Zoo playing with the monkeys. I had a really fun time. I had all the food I could ever want, and I made lots of new friends. There was Bongo, Mr. Peepers, Abu, Spike, Marcelle Geller, Captain Simian, Mojo-Jojo, and Chris Sabat. There was one monkey who had spiky hair, was short and arrogant, and always pretended he was Prince of the monkeys; he reminded me of you so I named him Vegeta."   
  
Vegeta clenched his fist, gritted his teeth and his stomach growled. He wanted to kill Kakarotto, but if he was dead he probably wouldn't get any food. Vegeta sat down at the table. He had a craving for rice and bread. He yelled, "Onna bring me food. I want to eat Gohan and Pan!"  
  
A shrill scream could be heard as far as Satan City. "You monster, first you ate Mirai Trunks and now you want to eat my son and granddaughter! You cannibal, you just weren't satisfied with beating up my family. You have to eat them too!" Chi-Chi grabbed the frying pan and was about to hit Vegeta when Goku intervened.  
  
"You guys shouldn't be fighting at all. Like my sensei Master Roshi always says, 'The stronger you get, the stronger you smell.'"  
  
Goten sniffed his armpits and said, "Hey dad, I must be pretty strong because I smell pretty bad!"  
  
Vegeta and Chi-Chi looked at Goku and Goten in disgust. Ignoring Goku's not applicable advice she knocked Vegeta down with the frying pan. "You stupid onna, all I wanted was some rice and bread. You're an idiotic brute just like your son and husband."   
  
"That may be true, but how dare you insult my family!" She grabbed the boiling pot of rice and dumped it on Vegeta. "Here's your damn rice!" Chi-Chi then picked the stunned Vegeta and threw him out the window.   
  
Goku with a big smile on his face looked out the window and shouted, "I hope you had fun here. Thank you, come again!"  
  
"Kisama, onna." Vegeta growled. He was bruised, burnt, wet, and most importantly without any food. "That onna of Kakarotto is more fierce than Bulma. No wonder everyone is afraid of her." He looked wistfully in the direction of Capsule Corp. At least Bulma had provided him with food, a home, and a gravity machine. "Shimatta!" Well, he didn't need Bulma and those ungrateful brats. He'd show them. He'd show them all.  
*********  
Gohan was drinking coffee and doing his morning ritual of reading the Satan City Times. Suddenly Gohan yelled, "I knew it, I knew it all along! That boy is and has always been a delinquent low-life, just like his father!" On the front page in bold letters was written: "PRESIDENT OF CAPSULE CORP. WAS FOUND MOLESTING MONKEYS!" Next to it was a picture of an angry Trunks getting handcuffed at Satan City Zoo. Gohan read on. "Trunks Briefs, son of Dr. Bulma Briefs, was caught stealing monkeys from Satan City Zoo. A one Mr. Yajirobe commented, 'I knew there was something wrong with that boy right from the beginning. His father was a cannibal. I'd keep him locked up before he starts harassing skunks.'"   
  
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it dear." Videl opened the door and was shocked to see a short, angry man whom she had never seen before. "Can I help you with something?" She asked.  
  
Vegeta stared at the woman. This was probably Gohan's onna. "I'm here to see.....(he couldn't admit that a spawn of Kakarotto was his friend)....Pan."   
  
"Oh, okay. Come in." Videl thought to herself, "That man really looks too old to be Pan's friend, but she does hang around with an older crowd. She's always with Goten and Trunks." Vegeta sat down at the table next to Gohan. Gohan wondered what strange turn of events could bring Vegeta here. He was about to ask when Pan burst into the kitchen.  
  
"It's Unckie Vegeta! Have you brought Trunks as well?"   
  
Vegeta pursed his lips. He didn't mind it too much when Pan called him Unckie Vegeta and he decided to answer her. "No, Trunks is at Capsule Corp. I have come to stay with you."  
  
"Can I go to Capsule Corp. to see Trunks?"  
  
"Pan, I don't want you hanging around that misfit Trunks. There's something wrong with him."  
  
"Tell me about it," Vegeta agreed.  
  
"But daaaad! If Unckie Vegeta gets to stay here than I should get to stay at Capsule Corp. and be with Trunks. That's how it works!"  
  
"Pan's right, Gohan. It'd only be fair to let Pan go to Capsule Corp.," said Videl.  
  
"All right, but watch out for that monkey molester, Pan. And if anything happens be sure to call the Great Saiyaman and the Great Saiyaman 2. You know, no one knows their true identity and they wear the coolest costumes."  
  
Pan and Vegeta looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Everyone knew that Videl and Gohan liked to parade around in those lame costumes and they really believed they were fighting crime.   
  
A devious idea formed in Vegeta's head. He smirked and said to Pan, "Be sure to give Trunks a big kiss from me." He knew how much Trunks hated Pan and this would be his revenge for getting him thrown out of his own house.   
  
"Okay, I will Unckie Vegeta. Goodbye everyone."   
  
"Maybe Vegeta really does like his son," thought Gohan to himself.   
  
Suddenly Gohan got a distress call from command central. A cat across the street had got stuck in a tree. "This is a job for the Great Saiyaman and Saiyaman 2!" Gohan yelled. In a flash Gohan and Videl were in their dorky costumes running to save the cat. Vegeta just shook his head. Since no one was in the house he decided to help himself to the goodies in the fridge. He was about to bite into a triple deck ham, salami, cheese, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, peanut butter, chocolate, banana, shrimp, cabbage, radish, carrot, broccoli, asparagus sandwich when the doorbell rang.   
  
"Kuso!" He went to answer the door expecting to see Bulma begging him to come back. Instead he got the shock of his life. It was....  
  
Kakarotto! He screamed.   
  
"Oh hi, Vegeta. I'm really glad you're here. You see I told Goten that nothing would happen to him if he tried to freeze himself in the freezer. However, when Chi-Chi opened the freezer to see a half-frozen Goten, she wasn't too pleased. For some strange reason she got really angry and steam started coming out of her ears. She began beating me up so I decided to run away from her. I guess I'm going to have to stay here for a couple of weeks till she cools down. Get it?"  
  
"Noooooooooooo! I can't take that donkey's idiocy for one more second. His whole purpose in life is to torment me." Vegeta flew as fast as he could from Videl's house. Again he had been thwarted from eating.   
***********  
Vegeta was flying over the sea. He decided to go to the place where all homeless fighters stayed: Kame House. He finally reached that little island in the middle of nowhere with that big turtle. He rung the doorbell. He gasped and shuddered violently when he saw who opened the door. It was that cold, ruthless fiend: Android #18.  
  
"Vegeta, the almighty prince of Saiya-jins, its been such a long time since I've seen you. The last time we met was....hm...let me see now....it was when I broke your arm." Android #18 gave Vegeta her killer smile.   
  
"Um....um....I'm here to see that short monk with the six dots on his head," Vegeta stammered.   
  
"Oh you mean my husband Krillin. He's with Master Roshi watching TV. You know Vegeta I have always wanted to have a rematch of our battle. I'd like to see what would happen if Mirai Trunks hadn't intervened." Android #18 smirked. "Something must have happened between Bulma and Vegeta. She has probably thrown him out of the house. Well, now since Vegeta is out of the way I can try to con Bulma into giving me Vegeta's share of the Brief fortune," she thought to herself.   
  
On the other side of the house, Marron was lying on her stomach on top of her bed giggling on the phone with Bra. Vegeta passed by the room and heard Marron talking to some girl on the phone.   
  
Marron: I can't believe you like Goten. Don't you think that he's kind of dumb?(She started giggling)  
Bra: Well, he is naive, but I think it's kind of cute.  
Marron: Well he is handsome and strong. But for me, I'd prefer a man who's smart, into machines, and has his own sense of justice and integrity.   
Bra: Oh Marron, your ideal husband sounds so boring.  
Marron: I hope you get your wish of marrying Goten. Wait till I tell Pan!  
  
Vegeta thought to himself, "What foolish onna would want to marry that Goten-atama (air-head, pun on Goten's name)? In fact, what father would be stupid enough to let his daughter marry a member of Kakarotto's family?"  
  
He found Master Roshi and Krillin watching women's jazzercise and laughing. Vegeta was really puzzled because he thought Master Roshi was too old to get out of his wheelchair and do exercise. Krillin's legs were too short to do those moves. Android #18 seemed to be preoccupied with looking under the couch for money.   
  
Master Roshi turned around and when he saw Vegeta he started laughing. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Bulma's kicked you out of the house, right? Finally, after all these years she's available. All these people stood in my way: Goku, Krillin, Yamcha, Oolong, Zarbon, Yajirobe, Tien, Chauzo, Gohan and out of all of them she picked an uncouth, barbaric, third-class alien. That sweet mama is gonna be all mine."   
  
"You perverted sick old man! How dare you talk about Bulma like she's some play-bunny. I'm going to send you to HFIL!" Vegeta turned Super Saiya-jin and started gathering power for his Big Bang attack. He was about to release the energy when #18 seized his right arm, twisted it around, and broke it. Vegeta, in agonizing pain, fell to his knees. He was panting heavily.   
  
"Vegeta, you can't kill Master Roshi. He hasn't left his house and all his money to me in the will, yet. You idiot, if Master Roshi's dead I won't have any money to buy new clothes."  
  
He couldn't believe that she-devil broke his arm again for Master Roshi's measly amount of money. Clutching his arm, Vegeta slowly backed out of Kame House. "Android #18 may be pretty, but she sure is cruel. She's just as bad as that onna of Kakarotto, if not worse. Kisama-amaa!"  
  
**********  
  
Vegeta needed help badly, so he decided to go to where all fighters go to get healed: Dende's lookout high above the Earth. When he reached there he saw that chubby, dark man with a turban and red lips being chased through the gardens by a bee. Dende came out of the tower and exclaimed, "Oh my Dende, it's Vegeta! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" He started running away. He still remembered the time when he had healed Vegeta and Vegeta thanked him by beating him up on Namek.   
  
"Namek slug, come back! Heal me now or I'll beat you up again!" Since Mr. Popo was preoccupied at that moment he couldn't protect Dende so Dende had no choice but to fix Vegeta's arm.   
  
"Now Namek, bring me food. Or else!"   
  
"I can't Vegeta. I just can't. I can grant you immortality, make you more powerful than Goku, make you Prince of the Earth, get rid of GT Trunks and bring back Mirai Trunks, but I just can't give food to a bad person. It's against my conscience."   
  
These ideals appealed to Vegeta, but he was starving. "Namek, tell me how to get to New Namek. That will be my new home."  
  
"Vegeta, I don't think that's a good idea. You pissed off the God of Love by destroying a whole Namek village. Besides all the Nameks hate your guts."  
  
Vegeta grabbed Dende by the scruff of his neck, lifted him up, and was about to punch him when Dende yelled, "Stop! Stop! I have an idea. King Kai always has food on his planet. Why don't you go live there." Vegeta let go of Dende. Dende sighed in relief. He had managed to get rid of Vegeta. Now he had to rescue Mr. Popo.  
  
  
*********  
  
After running for about an hour on Snake's way he finally reached the little green planet hanging in the pink sky. When he arrived on the planet he met the strangest man/creature he had ever seen.   
  
"So we finally meet, Vegeta. You must be here to train with me."  
  
"You....er....blue catfish bug man....bring me food! Aaaaahhhh it's Kakarotto. He's followed me here."  
  
"No, that's not Goku. It's my monkey Bubbles. I guess they do look similar and act alike. In fact when Goku was here he spent a lot of time having long conversations with Bubbles."  
  
"No, kidding."  
  
"I'll give you food on one condition. You have to listen to my jokes first. They're really funny."  
  
Vegeta growled, but he knew if he wanted food he'd have to listen to that blue catfish bug man talk.   
  
King Kai: Why didn't the Saiya-jin cross the road?  
  
Vegeta: Why?  
  
King Kai: Because he could fly! Hehehehehehe! Where can you always find happiness?"  
  
Vegeta: That's easy! In the gravity room or pounding Kakarotto.  
  
King Kai: No, that's not it. Good guess, but it's in the dictionary! Here's a good one. Knock, knock..."  
  
Vegeta: Huh? What are you doing? There's no door.  
  
King Kai: No, silly you have to say "Who's there?" its part of the joke for crying out loud.  
  
Vegeta: Uh...okay...Who's there?  
  
King Kai: Anita  
  
Vegeta: Anita....what?  
  
King Kai: No, you're supposed to say Anita who?  
  
Vegeta: I don't give a damn who Anita is  
  
King Kai: It's Anita Bath. Get it! I need a bath. Actually your the one who looks like he needs a bath. What happened to you? You look and smell like a homeless person.  
  
Vegeta: Gr......  
  
King Kai: I once asked Recoome of the Ginyu Force to name five things that contained milk. You know what he said? He said, "Burter, Jeice, Recoome, Guido and two cows." Two cows! Hehehehhehe. Here's a better one. Why did the groom-to-be commit suicide just before his wedding?  
  
Vegeta: That's what I should have done.  
  
King Kai: Give up? He thought he'd be better off dead than wed. I really crack myself up sometimes. Here's another one. Goku walked into a bar.....ouch.  
  
Vegeta: He's the only person idiotic enough to do so.  
  
King Kai: Here's a song I made up about Piccolo's driving:  
  
Piccolo had a little car,  
And it was painted red  
And everywhere that Piccolo went  
The canine cops picked up the dead.  
  
Vegeta: That may be true, but that song is really corny.   
  
King Kai: What do cannibals have for dinner?  
  
Vegeta: I've heard people say Mirai Trunks.  
  
King Kai: Nooooooooo! Snake and pygmy pie with chimps and beings. Heheheehe  
  
  
Vegeta could not endure this torture anymore. The blue catfish thing was annoying and the way Bubbles acted reminded him too much of Kakarotto. He had to leave. He decided that he would live with someone who doesn't talk much: The namek with the white turban and cape. But he wasn't sure where he lived.   
  
***********  
"Oh my Dende! It's Vegeta again. He looks really angry!"  
  
"Namek, where's that other namek?"  
  
"Oh, you mean Piccolo. He's dead and um....he's in HFIL...or at least that's what he told me. Now go away Vegeta. Stop terrorizing me. Why don't you just go to HFIL"  
  
Vegeta smirked, "Maybe I will." He was pretty sure that Kakarotto would not be smart enough to follow him into HFIL. Anyway he wouldn't be able to see Bulma and her pathetic children for a while. Vegeta went back on to Snake's way and jumped off.   
  
He landed in the area of HFIL, which housed third and fourth season villains.  
  
"Namek, where are you?"   
  
Suddenly the lights dimmed, and a spotlight appeared and the song "Vogue" by Madonna started playing. A tall villain with red hair posed with his butt sticking out. A red guy with white hair slid into a kneeling position and put his fist in the air. A tall blue, buff creature did a handstand. A short green toad with four eyes had his hands in a "Walk like an Egyptian" pose. "We are the Ginyu Force: Recoome, Jeice, Burter, Guido and introducing our new Captain........Frieza!" Frieza somersaulted in the air and landed right next to Vegeta. The lights came back on.   
  
Frieza: So you've finally come to visit me after all these years. My, my Vegeta you've aged terribly. You're wet, burnt, dirty, smelly, and bloody around your arm. You look half-starved.   
  
Recoome: That's because Vegeta's onna can't cook.  
  
Guido: I can't believe it! Vegeta, one of the fiercest, meanest fighters in the entire universe, is married and has two kids.  
  
Jeice: I guess that babe Bulma has tamed you.   
  
Frieza: That onna must have really turned you on, big boy.  
  
Frieza and Ginyu Force: Hahahahahahaha  
  
Frieza: I raised you like my son and you didn't even invite me to your wedding. I'm so disappointed and hurt.   
  
Recoome: If you had invited me I would have surely worn clean underwear.   
  
Burter: Hey did you know that Vegeta plays Barbies' with his little girl.   
  
Vegeta: That's not true! I'm not an onna. Well, only once.   
  
Frieza and Ginyu Force: Hahahahahahaha  
  
Guido: Vegeta can go to Super Saiya-jin level four and destroy whole galaxies yet he lets his onna boss him around.   
  
Jeice: I'll pretend I'm Vegeta and Recoome you pretend you're Bulma.  
  
Recoome (in a high voice): Oh Veggie-chan do the laundry, do the dishes, mend my dress, and pick the kids up from school.  
  
Jeice: Yes, dear. I'll do anything for you. I'm your slave. Would you like me to rub your feet? That's a lot more fun than killing people.   
  
Frieza and Ginyu Force: Hahahahahahaha  
  
Vegeta: Enough already, stop fooling around! Have you seen the namek?  
  
Frieza: He's not here. He's still alive. Look into the mirror portal. You see, he's in the wilderness meditating.  
  
Burter: Do you have any pictures of your family?  
Vegeta sighed as he pulled out his wallet.  
  
Frieza and Ginyu Force: Awwwwwhhhh  
  
Recoome: Your daughter looks really cute and sweet. I can see why you'd play Barbies' with her.   
  
Jeice: You're really lucky to have a wife as pretty as Bulma.   
  
Frieza: Your son looks very familiar. Hey wait! Isn't he that arrogant boy who annihilated me?  
  
Vegeta: As Jeice says, "Sometimes you gotta know when to go, go, GO!  
  
Vegeta went to Super Saiyan-jin level four and flew as fast as he could back on to Snake's way. He did not want to face Frieza. In his rush he ended up making a big hole on the path. King Yemma was not going to be happy.   
  
"Now that we can escape from HFIL why don't we go to King Kai's planet," exclaimed Frieza. "I heard that his jokes are as funny as mine."  
************  
  
He found Piccolo meditating in the air above a cliff. He wondered where Piccolo's house really was and if Piccolo was a good cook. "Namek, so this is where you've been hiding out. Why did you tell everyone that you were dead?"  
  
Piccolo looked at Vegeta and took a sip of his water. He said, "Hn...Gohan."  
  
"What about that spawn of Kakarotto? You can talk, can't you?"  
  
"Hn...."  
  
"Well?"  
  
"I had to fake my death in order to get away from that half-breed. You don't know the agony he has put me through."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"That brat first tricked me into becoming his sensei, then he made me become good, then he pushed me in the way of Nappa's blast and I got killed, then he brought me back to life with the dragonballs just when I was having a good time at King Kai's, then he made me fight Frieza so he wouldn't, then he began to dress exactly like me and follow me around everywhere, then he tried to do the fusion dance and fuse with me to become Piccohan. But what really annoyed me was that he kept singing the song 'Piccolo-san Dai Suki' (I love you Mr. Piccolo). I had to fake my death. It was the only way I'd ever find peace."  
  
"Stop whining Namek, his father is ten times worse. Now give me some food."  
  
"I don't have any food. Nameks only drink water."  
  
"Well then, where's your house?"  
"I don't need one. I live in the wilderness."  
  
"Shimatta! Tell me Namek where I can get some food or I'll tell that half-breed of Kakarotto where you're hiding out."  
  
"Hn...I heard Chaozu was a good cook, but truthfully I wouldn't know."  
  
"Kuso!" Vegeta was agitated. He would have to go and live with one of the lesser Z fighters. At least it wasn't that loser Yamcha.  
************  
Chaozu was in the kitchen stirring a pot of dumplings. "Tien, could you please lift me up so I can reach the soy sauce on the top shelf?"   
  
"No problem Chaozu." Tien lifted Chaozu on his back so he could reach the soy sauce. Suddenly the front door flew open and in came Vegeta. Tien and Chaozu were so surprised that they lost their balance and fell on top of each other.   
  
"You, little mime emperor. Bring me some food."  
  
Chaozu grabbed Tien's leg for protection. He stammered, "...Um....um.....Yes, Mr. Vegeta, sir."  
  
"Chaozu, don't let that bully, Vegeta, boss you around."  
  
"Tien, I don't mind giving Vegeta food. I love to cook and you're the only person around who I can cook for. Mr. Vegeta sir, you'll have to wait till the dumplings are ready. In the mean time you can work out with Tien in the weight room."  
  
Having nothing else better to do, Vegeta decided to join Tien. He wondered if Tien and Chaozu were really earthlings. After all, Tien had three eyes and Chaozu looked like a midget clown. Maybe he could make himself at home with these two aliens. Who needed Bulma anyway?   
  
"Chaozu! Chaozu, can you please help me with my pelvic thrusts?" Chaozu came running and sat on Tien, who was lying down, to help him with his exercise.   
  
"Huh," Vegeta thought to himself, "I've never seen men act this way towards each other before. Are they doing some special move?" Vegeta continued to train. He turned around again to see Tien doing push-ups with Chaozu on his back. "This is really strange," Vegeta thought to himself. The smell of dumplings wafted in the air, and Vegeta decided not to say anything that would get him kicked out of the house.  
  
Chaozu then returned to the kitchen to put the finishing touches on the dumplings. "Tien can you come here and tell me if the dumplings need more salt?" Chaozu lifted the ladle and they both sipped the broth together.  
  
"This is too weird! It looks like they are kissing," he thought to himself. "Are you guys gay or something?"  
  
"Yes we are, we are very happy, together. Chaozu is an excellent cook."  
  
"Tien takes care of me."  
  
"This is too strange, I'm out of here." Vegeta left shuddering.  
***********  
He couldn't bring himself to do this. It would be so humiliating, but he had no choice. He knocked on the door of what looked like a shack. A scruffy looking man, with no teeth, wearing a potato sack, came to the door. "Well, if it isn't the high and mighty Prince of Saiya-jins. By the looks of you Bulma must have finally thrown you out of Capsule Corp. I've waited thirty years for this day. And now you, a prince living in the luxuries of Capsule Corp., has come to beg for shelter from a bum like me. How ironic. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha."  
  
Vegeta walked inside his house.....er....shack. Yamcha really didn't have much. On the floor was a rug that looked like a blue cat. "Scarface man that my green alien friends killed, bring me food!"   
  
"Wish I could Vegeta, but we'll have to wait till the rats come out of their holes. I remember the days when I slept in a warm comfy bed, had all I could eat, and had a gorgeous girl. Those were the good old Capsule Corp. days. You know Vegeta, I bet if you hadn't knocked Bulma up she would have returned to me. She's too smart to fall for a conceited, short-tempered, bastard-alien like you. You must have cast one of your weird Saiya-jin spells when the moon was full and made her fall for you. She's finally now come to her senses."  
  
"Why you jerk, Bulma fell in love with me on her own." Vegeta's face darkened and in one quick motion he used his big-bang attack and the shack exploded.   
  
"You idiot, you destroyed my rug and best friend. Shimatta!" Vegeta smirked and flew away.   
  
After living with all his friends.....er....those blasted earthlings he realized that everyone had screwed up homes. In fact, living with Bulma at Capsule Corp. really wasn't too bad. He flew towards the Capsule Corp. compound. It had only been two days and he knew Bulma was still too angry to take him back. What was he going to do?  
  
What will Vegeta do? Will Bulma take him back or move on? Stay tuned for scenes from the next installment of Vegeta the Hobo.  
  
In the next chapter of Vegeta the Hobo, Bulma moves on to a hot anime guy. Can you guess who he is? All this and more in Part 3: No Need for Crossovers with Hot Anime Guys.  
  
  
  
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Luna: (sighs) Yes, SAILOR STARSBUCKS is responsible for Usagi's over-energetic and reckless behavior.  
  
Rei: Having a No-Froth, Skinny, Latte at SAILOR STARSBUCKS makes me go into deep trances where I can see the future!  
  
Ami: I had a problem. I loved studying all the time, but for some unknown reason at 10:00 PM at night I would pass out and not wake up till 7:00 AM in the morning. SAILOR STARSBUCKS coffee helped me solve my condition. Drinking four cups of their special formula double caffeinated extra-strength coffee allowed me to study 24/7/365. Now I can spend my nights reading about Highway legislation in Peru and solving Calculus Equations that have imaginary numbers.   
  
Minako: Having a cup of coffee at SAILOR STARSBUCKS made me look sophisticated and mature. In no time bishonen were hitting on me. Thanks to SAILOR STARSBUCKS I now have a boyfriend. If you're a hyper, desperate blonde ditz like me, drinking coffee can help you too!  
  
Makoto: Many people think that the secret to my super-strength is exercise and healthy diet. Well it's not! It's SAILOR STARSBUCKS! If you're a girl, it can help you kick super-villians asses. Not to mention old boyfriends' :::wink::: too!  
  
(Haruka and Michiru are sitting across from each other at a booth.)  
Michiru : SAILOR STARSBUCKS is mine and Haruka's favorite place to drink coffee.   
  
Haruka: Yes, SAILOR STARSBUCKS is a wonderful place to meet exciting and attractive women. (Haruka looks at Michiru, and Michiru blushes)  
  
Michiru: Whenever I drink SAILOR STARSBUCKS coffee I get that warm tingling feeling like you feel when you're in love.  
  
Sailor Pluto: Stuck with the lonely, never-ending position of gate-keeper of time, I used to get bored, fall asleep, and let villains and annoying pink-haired brats through the gate. But with the discovery of SAILOR STARSBUCKS coffee I am alert and never lonely. SAILOR STARSBUCKS is truly my best and only friend.  
  
Hotaru: Believe it or not, instead of stunting my growth, SAILOR STARSBUCKS coffee made me grow up quickly so I could return for the Sailor Stars season.   
  
Chibi-Usa: SAILOR STARSBUCKS coffee made my hair turn pink! Wicked Cool!  
  
Announcer: So remember if you want to be as warped as the Sailor Senshi drink SAILOR STARS.......  
  
Director: CUT! Makoto, Minako, Rei, and Usagi what the hell are you doing? Stop drooling and get those hearts out of your eyes!   
  
Makoto, Minako, Rei, and Usagi: OH MY GOD! IT'S TRUNKS! He's the sexiest anime guy out there! (Makoto, Minako, and Rei run over to Trunks and start ogling him. Usagi, however in the excitement, trips over Luna and falls flat on her face. Mamoru helps her up.)  
  
Usagi : Mamo-chan, get out of my way! I need to grab Trunks before that back-stabbing pyro gets her claws on him.   
  
Makoto, Minako, Rei, and Usagi: Trunks is MINE. (They all start pulling Trunks away from one another. Hotaru and Chibi-Usa sigh in disgust at the immature behavior of their mentors.)  
  
Haruka: Hey, that Bulma chic is really hot too.  
  
Michiru: Haruka! (Haruka turns red and sweatdrops.)  
  
Haruka: What I meant was that Bulma with her turquoise hair reminds me of you.  
  
Vegeta: Boy.....er....onna, just because she has thrown me out of the house doesn't mean she's available! (Vegeta clenches his fists and growls! He walks off the set in a foul mood.)  
  
Michiru: I can't believe that sweet lady Bulma fell for that jerk  
  
Haruka: You're right Michiru. Bulma should have married a prince, not a third-class barbaric alien. Bulma deserves someone who is handsome, charming, and nice. 


End file.
